"Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul." -Unkn

I can't help it. I keep fretting about how James is growing and the more mobile he is, the less he wants to be in my arms and it's a little heartbreaking. I love my little bug and I want to be there for every moment because it's so true what they say: "They're only young once."

James, by all means, keep growing, but promise me that you will always come to your momma and tell her you love her and give her a big hug! In return I promise I will say "no no!" less often, and cherish these moments while you are a baby to the fullest of my capabilities.

"da da duh da da" -Ricky Lopez

Life has been pretty stagnant lately. We have been looking for a new place to live since Ricky has gotten a new job within his company that pays a little more an hour, something with a better lay out and perhaps a bit more room. We can't make a noise louder than a whisper with out James waking up.

I don't know for sure how I created this monster, but James is a pain to get to sleep at night. It's been really hard to have the strength to not bring him into bed with me. We regularly wake up two or three time a night to pat James back to sleep (of course we don't pick him up) and in the two LONG weeks we've been trying this he has only slept through the night three times. It's exhausting. I wish we had been strong from the start and always had him sleep in his crib.

James is such a big boy now! He has been sitting up for a while, he is so near a crawl it's driving me crazy. He has his own high chair now and he has been eating three "meals" a day. He says "mama" and "dada" but of course, he doesn't quite know what he means yet. He laughs a lot, and he's also really crabby sometimes. All and all, I am so very proud of him. I just can't believe how fast he's growing. When they say that kids "grow up so fast" they really aren't kidding.

I starting singing a song for him tonight. What do you think of the lyrics?

You are my baby boy
Sent from Heaven above
There are no mistakes in life
Just ways to give our love.

So welcome to the world
My handsome little James
Life can get scary at times
I'll hold your hand all the way.

I'm sorry I seem all over the place, I am so excited to be posting at this moment.

I am looking for a job. But I'm not sure if I want to work full time, and put James in day care, or just find a day care job. I know that the second option will be really hard to come by but the thought of putting James in day care scares the pants off of me. I'm sure he's old enough and mature enough, but am I ready? I also want to go to school. I now know for sure what I want to be. Ultrasound tech. It'll be hard to even get into the school, but I think I am going to go for it. I just need to find some guts to make it happen and manage at the same time not to ruin James' life.

Pictures follow.






Didn't think it would happen, but my blog, like my life, has become about James.

About me, I found out that I am most likely dyslectic. I've looked up some signs and I meet them. It would explain my trouble reading in early life. It also makes me feel a little bit better about how awful I am at reading aloud.I am obsessed with a show called My Life as Liz. Pretty silly, but I like it anyhow. I am definitely gluten intolerant and I have been symptom free since I stopped eating gluten for New Years. Occasionally I will accidentally ingest a little and I then feel awful for days.I also do have issues with lactose, as I thought before, so I am taking steps to take it out of my life. The hardest struggle with that will be living without my nachos. With these dietary changes and a few minutes of added exercise I have lost some weight. I still have many pounds of "baby weight" to lose and some past that, but I'm feeling much better about myself now.

G'night.